By Gina Park, CNN

(CNN) — I witnessed a lot of odd things during my freshman year in college: squirrels eating sub sandwiches, team mascots crowd-surfing at school events — and parents doing their child’s laundry in my dorm.

Eventually those things didn’t surprise me as I worked and played through the next three years in college. Now that I’m starting my senior year, my friends and I agree that nothing truly prepares you for what your freshman year will look like.

There will be so many changes for you (and your parents) as you enter college, but I’ve narrowed it down to three key things that helped me my first year.

Whether you feel ready for what’s next or terrified at your first time away from home, here’s my advice on how to get a leg up on dealing with your newfound independence, roommate drama and parent-free social scene.

Your mom isn’t there to do your laundry

Here’s the hard truth: The days of asking your mom to call a counselor or schedule an appointment for you are over. Or at least they should be.

In Dr. Laurence Steinberg’s book “You and Your Adult Child: How to Grow Together in Challenging Times,” he talks about an instance in which a mother calls to ask him to review her child’s college application, at which point he informs her that he would have to speak to her daughter directly.

While I can’t fault you for being nervous or anxious about entering college, your parents should not be contacting professors for you. You need to learn to do it yourself.

“Any time people of any age make a transition into a new or unfamiliar role, they confront challenges that they may or may not feel able to handle,” said Steinberg, the Distinguished University Professor and Laura H. Carnell Professor of psychology and neuroscience at Temple University in Philadelphia, via email. “Part of maturing is developing feels of self-reliance and competence in new situations.”

That’s not to say that you need to stop relying on your parents entirely, but there has to be a balance.

You can start by “making decisions without parental approval, even if they are uncertain. It’s fine to ask parents (or anyone) for advice, but taking responsibility for one’s life is key,” Steinberg said.

It can also be helpful to talk decisions or struggles through “with a close friend, if only to find out that they aren’t alone. Or turning to an adult other than their parents, like an advisor, someone in their extended family, a counselor, etc,” he added.

But it’s not just a journey for the student. Parents need to let go, too.

“I think parents do struggle a lot with this question of how much to support them and how much to let them chart this new path on their own,” said Dr. Jeffrey Arnett, professor of psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts. “I think the best thing for parents is to make it clear that you’re here if they need you, and you’re always willing to talk and give advice, give support, give encouragement.

“Some (students) are going to want a lot of assistance and involvement in this transition, and others are not,” he added. “You have to respond to what they tell you and how much support they appear to need.”

But really, if you haven’t done so yet, learn to do your own laundry.

This isn’t fight club. Talk about house rules

I’m sure you, like Dr. Angela Corbo, have heard the stories about how someone’s roommate doesn’t take out the trash. “There’s dirty dishes in the sink. There’s takeout containers all over the place. They bring people into the room at all different kinds of time of the day,” said Corbo, describing some students’ experiences with roommates.

For many students, the roommate situation can make or break their college experience. Maybe you’ve never had to share a bedroom before, and you never wanted to. And now you’re stuck.

Nearly 50% of first-year college students have “frequent” or “occasional” conflict with their roommates, and 17% of students report that that conflict affects their academics.

When you’re sharing a room with someone, it’s likely that your perspective of what is normal or how a space should be used is different from theirs, and that can often cause collision, said Corbo, a professor and chair of the department of communication studies at Widener University in Chester, Pennsylvania.

“It’s really important to kind of think about how do we want to establish boundaries? How do we want to create a roommate agreement? How do we want to talk about how we’ll manage conflicts or just even expectations?” she said.

For me, it was hard to start the conversation, especially since I didn’t know my roommate very well at the beginning of the year. But it’s important that you talk these matters out.

You can start by asking:

  • What’s your sleep schedule? Are you a morning or night person?
  • Do you like to have music on in the background?
  • Do you care if I come back to the room late at night, or would you like a heads-up if I’m planning to be out late?
  • Are there allergies I should be aware of? Are there items that you’re not comfortable with us having in the room?

Have those awkward conversations, Corbo advised, and if all else fails, talk to your resident assistant, who is trained to help you navigate these types of situations.

‘Main character syndrome’ will make you lonely

Do you know people who only think about themselves, romanticize their own experiences and struggle to empathize with others?

If so, you might know someone with “main character syndrome.”

Main character syndrome “is a colloquial term that describes a pattern of behavior where an individual perceives themselves as the central figure in their life’s narrative, often viewing others as supporting characters,” said Dr. Manju Antil, an assistant professor of psychology at Apeejay Stya University in Gurugram, India.

While the term is not a formal psychological condition, it can be prevalent among college-age students, according to Antil.

“College environments reinforce MCS tendencies by promoting achievement recognition, social visibility, and peer comparison,” Antil said via email. “Social media platforms amplify these behaviors, encouraging students to present themselves as exceptional, unique, or noteworthy.”

It’s easy to rely on seeing yourself as the main character in your own play as a coping mechanism, especially as you navigate newfound independence and an unknown environment — but it’s not always healthy, Antil added.

When someone has main character syndrome, it can be difficult to form relationships with others, so it’s important that you regularly self-reflect on how much you focus on yourself.

If you notice, or someone tells you, that you “steer conversations toward yourself, prioritize personal narratives over others’ perspectives, or seek validation more than offering support,” then you might have it, Antil said.

“By observing thoughts and reactions without judgment, individuals can notice patterns of self-centered cognition and behavior. Seeking feedback from peers, mentors, or therapists also provides an external perspective, which can reveal blind spots in self-perception,” she added. “Becoming aware of these tendencies is the first step in moderating MCS behaviors and fostering healthier social interactions.”

There’s a lot to learn your first year in college. It can be hard to negotiate taking care of all your basic needs, adjusting to a roommate, having much more freedom to party (but no one to rescue you or your laundry) while discovering a new way of learning.

But my friends and I are proof you can do it, even if you call your parents a little too much that first year.

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